Looth Tooth

I've got a looth tooth
that wigglth and jigglth and wrigglth.
I move it around
but it never comth out of my mouth.
I pull it, I yank it,
I twirl it, I thpank it,
but it jutht never theems
to want to come out
of ith houth.

I'd call the Tooth Fairy,
but she'th kinda thcary,
Tho I thtill cannot theem to be free
of thith wiggly looth tooth,
that to tell you the truth,
ith makin' a thap outa me.

I'm going to give it
one thuper thtrong yank,
cuth I really could uthe thome money.
Great Scott! It's out! At last, it's out!
But now I'm talking funny.

Achoo!

Sneezing is normal.
(I suppose.)
But one time while sneezing,
Cheryl Lynn Rose
shot a small dragon
out of her nose.
This wasn't normal.
(Goodness knows).
And it really surprised
poor Cheryl Lynn Rose,
and the dragon too
(I suppose).
'Cause nobody knew
that he lived in her nose.

Well, the dragon quite liked
sweet Cheryl Lynn Rose,
and lately he follows
wherever she goes.
I heard that he's planning
to someday propose
to sweet little Cheryl Lynn,
Cheryl Lynn Rose.

But she feels
quite different.
(Goodness knows).
She never does
want him
to propose.
He thinks they're friends.
She knows they're foes;
How'd a dragon like that
come from such a cute nose?

Now every time Cheryl Lynn
huffs and blows,
she grabs her nostrils,
makes them close.
She's afraid someone else
has taken a doze
inside her sneezing
little nose.

Poor little, poor little
Cheryl Lynn Rose.
So many troubles.
So many woes.
She's stuck with a dragon
she never chose,
all 'cause she sneezed him
out of her nose.
He'll always be with her
(I suppose.)
 

Be Careful What You Wish For

Arnie the apple hung from a tree
in an orchard a mile wide.
And every day the pickers would come
and haul dozens of apples inside.

They'd pick the prettiest of the bunch,
filling their baskets and pails.
But they always passed by Arnie,
ignoring his whines and wails.

"Please pick me!", Arnie would cry
each time the pickers sauntered by.
"I want to go inside with you!",
cried Arnie till he turned bright blue.

But the pickers ignored him day after day,
while Arnie hung there in dismay,
trying to nurse his shattered pride,
dying to be picked to be taken inside.

Each new dawn he'd do a trick
like spinning around on his twig.
But the picky pickers never stopped
for apples that weren't big

or juicy or red or bright or sweet.
Poor Arnie was none of these things.
He wasn't completely quite full grown
and he had some nicks and dings.

He dreamed what it was like inside;
lights and music all around.
Arnie just wanted to go there so badly
he flung himself to the ground.

The next day the pickers came along
and saw him lying there.
They took him inside and Arnie thought,
"This is it! I'm finally there!"

But when Arnie the Apple looked around
he realized his dreams were false,
'cause in less than 15 minutes
he was Arnie Applesauce.

Rich Kid

I found a quarter in a pay phone.
Boy, am I excited!
I'm feeling mighty, mighty rich
and I don't plan to hide it.

I think I'll buy a baseball.
Hmmmm. I don't have quite enough.
Instead I'll buy a rag doll.
Boy, this shopping stuff is tough.

Okay, I'll buy a pizza.
No, I'm still a little shy.
How 'bout a bag of onion rings?
Well, it was worth a try.

I've searched for half the day now
for one thing I can afford,
and now I have to tell you
that I'm growing rather bored.

I guess I'll buy some gumballs
so that I can finally end it.
It's amazing how long a quarter lasts
when you can't afford to spend it.

Cow-ard

I can't. I quit.
I won't. That's it.
I'm done. I'm through.
No more.

No chance. I'm gone.
Forget it. So long.
Goodbye. I'm out
the door.

Drop it. Leave it.
Not maybe. No, never!
Not ever. No way.
No how.

You can't get me,
just 3 foot 3
to milk that
angry cow.

The Ghost With The Most

"Boo! Boo Hoo!",
cried the ghost with the most.
No one comes to visit me,
though I'm the perfect host.

I decorate with cobwebs,
sweep the spiders under the rug,
Yet no one ever offers me
a kind word or a hug.

I don't know what the reason is.
I don't know what could cause it,
'Cause I always, yes I always
keep my skeletons in the closet.

Sure, I may look scary
but if someone really knew me,
they wouldn't be afraid
'cause they could see
right through me.

Just Checking

I have a question
for you
'cause I want to
see things clear.
If a doctor ate
an apple a day
would it make
him disappear?

What To Do About Grandma

When grandma goes to sleep at night,
I shut all the windows and doors.
I put cotton in my ears because, well,
my grandma snores.

She snores so loud it jiggles the house
and makes the shutters shake.
One time our neighbors ran out screaming -
they thought there was an earthquake.

Another time she snored so loud
our ears and noses bled.
Now everyone runs for cover
when my grandma goes to bed.

Yes, grandma's known for snoring.
She's known all over town.
Even power saws and freight trains
tell my grandma to pipe down.

She's louder than a motor bike
or a great big thunder clap.
Oh dear! Oh no! I've got to go!
It's time for grandma's nap!